Real Housewives of Beverly Hills epic fight: Camilles friends are nastier than she is

Spoilers for last episode of RHOBH
Last night’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills featured a dinner party held by Camille Grammer that soon became a shouting fest between the ladies and their friends. Before I launch into this recap, I have to include some choice quotes from a guest that Camille invited, a woman named Allison DuBois, who is the alleged ‘psychic/medium’ on whom the TV show Medium is loosely based. Camille and Kelsey produce Medium, and I have to say I’m so glad that f’cking show is canceled despite the fact that my mom watches it and I love Patricia Arquette. Allison was one of the nastiest people I’ve ever seen and it’s clear that her ‘psychic’ abilities are a total crock of sh*t. Here are some of her quotes from the dinner:

Offering a ‘reading’ to Kyle: “[Your husband] will never emotionally fulfill you, know that. As soon as the kids are bigger, you’ll have nothing in common.”

To Camille and her BFF D.D. after the ladies leave. “I don’t give a shit what [Kyle] thinks about me, she can f*ck off. I can tell you when she will die and what will happen to her family. I love that about me.”

Allison to Camille “Can I say this, if any of their children disappeared, they wouldn’t be like ‘You were wrong,’ they’d be like ‘Can you help?‘ F*ck them.”

I wanted to get some of those quotes out of the way because I was flabbergasted that anyone would say such cruel things, nonetheless when a camera was running. This just shows the kind of people Camille surrounds herself with.

Camille’s dinner party for all the housewives was meant as a sign that she wanted to smooth things over with Kyle after their big blowout in New York. It soon became a shouting match, with Camille’s friend Allison saying incredibly mean things to Kyle and Kyle’s friend Faye Resnick (of the O.J. trial) defending her.

Camille invited this drunken Allison creature and her “best friend”/paid companion D.D. to the dinner party, both of whom sat flanking her at the head of the table. Back when Camille called Kyle to invite her, Kyle explained that she already had dinner plans with Faye and asked if it was OK if she brought her along. Camille agreed, but then later accused Kyle during the dinner of bringing Faye just to defend her! This was particularly ridiculous coming from Camille, who clearly planned to bring her more combative friend, Allison, all along. Here’s some of the quotes from the night. I’ve actually pared this down as I pretty much wrote everything down. You can skip all this if it annoys you, but there are some choice quotes here.

Camille to the other ladies on Faye Resnick, Kyle’s guest: “You know how I know her, I saw her naked in Playboy. She posed naked in Playboy after the OJ trial.” and added “And I thought you looked amazing. And I have to say that I loved her spread, literally.”

Camille narrating later. “I recognized [her] after the dinner, I think it was the hair, I think it’s the extensions and the blown up fake lips, and then I realized OMG that’s who it is, that’s Faye Resnick, the morally corrupt Faye Resnick.”

Camille narrating on how she did Playboy too but of course that was different from Faye: “I was in my early 20s, it wasn’t coming off a big murder trial that my girlfriend was killed. Those kind of people I don’t understand and I don’t want to associate with.”

Allison on why she can’t give anyone readings “I was studied by a scientist and was on Oprah… I’m like a drug, once you get one you want more… I’m off the clock.”

Camille warning people not to ask Allison for readings “If somebody’s husband is cheating on her, she will know.”

Faye on Camille claiming that she never told Allison about her fight with Kyle. “That’s hard for me to believe, honestly. Girlfriends tell each other what’s really going on. Kyle tells me what’s happening in her life and if you’re her good girlfriend, you would know what’s happening in her life.”

Camille accuses Faye of being there to defend Kyle “So did you come here to defend Kyle, because the way you’re talking sounds like she cued you in and you came to defend her. Is that why you came here Faye, honestly?”

Camille narrates later that “Out of all the girls who were there, [Allison] is the only one who stood up for me.”

Allison to Kyle “You are entirely washed up.”

Camille says she brought Allison for “interesting conversation” and then Kyle points out “We’re not allowed to talk to her about it because she’s off the clock.”

Allison gets superior “You’re not hiring me. I’m a dinner guest. I have books written on me and by me, and a television show is based on my life, so you can just like take a flying leap.”

Faye “I’m so bored of this conversation. I’m totally over it.”

Allison tells Faye to leave “Then leave, if you’re over it then leave.”

Faye “Allison you leave.”

Allison said “You’ve got two legs the last time we checked.”

Allison tells Kyle to leave “You know what, you are not interesting to me at all. So you continue being interested by me, that’s awesome. You have two legs too, they can walk…”

Allison says to Kyle “You have achieved nothing in life.”

Kyle tries to defend herself “Allison, let me tell you something right now. All of this is unimportant to me. I have four beautiful children – look how she turns her head like this, what are we in elementary school?”

Camille stirs up more sh*t “I had also heard that things were said at the airport.

Kim and Taylor fight over what was or was not said at the airport.

Camille smiles like she’s loving it.

Kim and Taylor are bickering.

Kyle “This is all bullshit to me ok.”

Taylor asks Adrienne to stand up and say “stop”

Kim to Taylor “why don’t you stand up and say stop?”

Taylor “I can’t ask you, because you’re off your f*cking rocker.”

Kim “Oh really? What about you? Why don’t you blow up your lips some more.”

Taylor “Enough. We’re not doing this anymore. I’m not having this anymore. These are not the ladies that we are. Enough.”

Camille’s friends are smiling at each other conspiratorially.

Kyle “I don’t get it. I’ve never had a problem with a woman like this in my life, I don’t get it.”

Camille “I don’t have a problem with you Kyle. That’s the whole thing. Well after NY I kind of felt bad. You did call me a delusional bitch”

Camille narrates that Kyle is jealous of her “I honestly think it’s jealously, there’s some kind of jealousy there. I hate to say that, but I think that it’s a big part of this.”

Kyle “Camille if someone says to you ‘Is Kelsey going with you to Hawaii’ and you say ‘no’ and then you hear ‘Who wants you without Kelsey?’ then that’s delusional.”

Allison “That is a f*cked up thing to say.”

Lisa “We can’t go down that road again.”

Allison “She can’t say what Camille thought. She doesn’t know that she’s not Camille.”

Kyle “I’m not talking to you Allison.”

Allison “Oh you are because you’re looking at me. See you are… You’re nothing, you’ve done nothing.”

Adrianne tells everyone to go.

Allison makes jerk off sign and says “She’s such a bitch”

Taylor and Kim are still bickering outside. Kyle and Kim fight over whether Kim started a fight with Taylor.

Allison “Kyle is a little bitch.. Kyle was every girl at a high school that made somebody kill themselves. She’s that girl, that’s so mean and profoundly bankrupt. I’m going to shove this [electronic cigarette] up her ass to make a point, except she’d need a bigger one to even feel it. Oh yeah, I went there.”

D.D. tells Camille and Allison “Kyle set that up because Kyle brought Faye.”

Allison “Kyle is a conspirator.”

Camille “She came into my home and verbally assaulted me”

Camille to Allison “I think you’re more on to her personal life with her husband than she was willing to accept”

Allison says Kyle’s husband is cheating “He loves his nannies. You can’t fault him, she’s an icy bitch.”

Camille “He loves more than his nannies. He loves women in general. Let’s be nice, I’m not saying he’s cheating on her… he really loves women.”

D.D. “They all love each other don’t they?”

Camille “It’s because it’s easy to pick on me because I’m the nice guy, but if I was out of the situation they would tear each other apart.”

D.D. “I honestly thought they would have been a lot classier”

D.D. “I thought Taylor was your friend, but she’s not your friend.”

[From RHOBH, aired 12-16-10]

So basically Camille called out Faye for being in Playboy, even though Camille herself was in Playboy. Camille also called out Kyle for allegedly bringing a friend to defend her, when Camille had two friends there for that purpose and Kyle’s friend was with her because they already had plans that night. Camille, her mean ‘psychic’ buddy and her assistant snarked that Kyle’s husband was cheating on her, when we know that it was Camille’s husband who was cheating, not Kyle’s. Plus Camille promised that if anyone’s husband was cheating on them Allison would know about it. Ha!

Camille is an incredibly nasty person who has somehow found even more vile women to hang out with. I don’t blame Kyle for getting mad and defending herself. I only hope that Kim and Taylor can patch things up and that they can all band together against Camille, or at least shut her out of the group entirely.

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